Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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