I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
