Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
