So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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