Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
love makes seman taste better
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
