i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
