is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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