People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
