Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
