Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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