loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im six kinds of drunk right now
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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