Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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