I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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