Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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