you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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