So drunk its hurt
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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