Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
