How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize