do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
