I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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