She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
