How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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