Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This toilet bowl is my home.
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