i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I want her autograph on my taint
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
