I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
