you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
