He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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