she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize