SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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