We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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