He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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