week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
