You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I AM VODKA MAN
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
