We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
