Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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