But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
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