remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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