So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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