you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
