thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick