At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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