Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.