Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Everyone says I win the strip club
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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