Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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