it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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