I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
