quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
They took my balls.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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