that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
