your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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