69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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