OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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