Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
