I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
