was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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