i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
