Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
