After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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