Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
