dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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