Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
