My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize