Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.