one might say we're banned from that church
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
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Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.