I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning